In the Past
by JMNY8
Summary: Scenes from Jack's past, before he became the government agent he is today. Includes Marilyn, Graem, and Philip Bauer.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing from 24

Jack Bauer and Marilyn Collins were juniors in high school when they started dating. He was the former bully on honor role, and she was a former prep school princess. Jack had gone through some hard times, especially when his mother died when he was a child. He had lashed out, frequently getting in trouble for fights on the playground. What none of his teachers realized was that the boys Jack was beating up were the ones who picked on all the freaks and geeks of their class. Jack took on the role of protector for the underappreciated kids in his class, and then for his brother Graem when he started at the same school 2 years behind Jack. By 8th grade, Jack had learned to control his temper- the "special training" from his father helped with that. Jack would still stand up for his brother and the friends he'd made, but it rarely culminated in physical violence. After the first few years, the boys realized not to mess with anyone for fear of Jack's wrath.

By the time Marilyn transferred to their public school from the prep school a town over, Jack had a rapport with classmates and teachers as a bright, respectable, well-liked individual. He noticed her when the teacher introduced the new student in their AP History class, and was quickly drawn to her. As class let out, he ignored the classmates trying to get his attention and bolted out of the door she'd just left.

"Marilyn! Excuse me, Marilyn!" She would tell him later how all the other students instinctively moved away, making room for Jack Bauer. Right away, she could tell that he had the admiration of his classmates, and soon after she realized how blind he was to it.

"Hi. I'm Jack Bauer. Can I help you get to your next class?" As she smiled at him and nodded, he grinned back and reached for her books and schedule. He didn't seem at all uncomfortable as he put his hand on the small of her back and started escorting her to her biology class- on the other side of the school from his AP English class, by far his favorite.

Marilyn noticed all of the looks they were getting- admiring glances were shot at each of them, but it was the buzz of gossip and excitement that interested her. She felt a small surge of relief at the realization that she may not be the outcast she was expecting to become, after all.

"Thank you, Jack. It's nice to meet you." She finally responded with a smile. Jack chose that moment to glance back at her, and had to grin when he saw the sparkle in her vibrant blue eyes.

"Likewise."

They spoke briefly during the 3 minute walk up a floor and across the property. He pointed out the quickest routes to the gym and cafeteria, and warned her not to sit in the back for Mr. Hebert's class if she didn't want to get called on constantly. She explained that financial troubles following her father's death led her to transfer, and quietly admitted that she was nervous about the change.

After giving his brief condolences (he knew from experience that overt displays of sympathy or pity were unhelpful), he assuaged her fears about the school.

"I wouldn't worry if I were you, Marilyn. I can tell you're going to fit in great here." With one last smile, he returned her books to her and headed to class, planning out a way to get back here before the end of the period to see her again.

After that first day, Jack and Marilyn were constantly together. He would walk her to or from any classes they had together, and she would frequently wait at school until he was done with football practice. With Jack as an ally, it wasn't difficult for her to make friends. In addition to being respected, he was considered quite a catch by the girls in his class. He'd never had trouble getting a date to any school functions, but the girls were disappointed that he showed no interest beyond that. They were all shocked to see him chasing after the new girl on the first day, and their curiosity about Marilyn made the kinder girls in the class want to get to know her- the less kind among them tried to align themselves with Marilyn in an attempt to win Jack's attention. Unfortunately, Marilyn was nice to a fault, and found herself starting to get attached to a particular group of girls when they realized that Marilyn was the competition, not a friend. She struggled with their cold shoulder, but by that time at the end of her first month at school, she had made enough real friends and gotten close enough to Jack that she wasn't lacking for good company.

Jack was oblivious to his role in Marilyn's popularity, instead focusing on her role in his new-found happiness. He'd felt physically drawn to her at first- it was obvious that she was one of the best-looking girls in school. As he got to know her over that first month, he realized that it was everything about her he was attracted to. He noticed the way her eyes sparkled when she laughed, the way she bit her lip when she was stuck on a pre-calculus problem, her kindness whenever she spoke. It was true, a month had gone by and she'd barely had a negative thing to say. When she got shunned by Jack's "fan club," she didn't waste time berating or criticizing them, she lamented the loss of their friendship and wondered if she did something wrong. When Jack explained that they simply weren't nice people, and may have been trying to use her for her popularity, she agreed that maybe it was for the best that she wasn't going to spend much more time with them.

After two months of a fairly easy friendship, Jack asked her to the fall ball.

"It's the kiss of death." The girls from Marilyn's earlier clique were saying. "Jack Bauer never asks a girl for a second date." Their jaws dropped Monday after the dance, when Jack and Marilyn were walking down the hall holding hands.

At that point, Jack and Marilyn seemed inseparable. In school they took nearly every opportunity to be together. Their social circles merged, and a dozen or so students could be found every lunch period at the center table, all attention on Jack and Marilyn. Marilyn thrived in the group, and her vivacious nature infected all of them. Jack was never gregarious, but it was common to see him laughing along with their group of friends. Outside of school, they were together every afternoon they could manage- though his football practice and her involvement on any student committee she could get her hands on often interfered. Both of their parents were strict about going out on school nights, but every weekend they could be found together, surfing at the beach, going to a movie, or just hanging out.

They had been dating for 3 months when she went to his house for the first time. Until now, they had just been meeting at school or wherever they wanted to go for the day. Jack always offered to drive, but Marilyn had reservations about her mother and uncle finding out she was dating someone so soon. They didn't believe her to be a very good judge of character because she was so trusting, and she was worried they'd jump to conclusions after finding out she was dating someone so soon after starting at a new school.

She wasn't surprised at the grandeur of the Bauer mansion- it was known that the family had money. Though she was expecting it, she was still fairly intimidated when she rang the doorbell. A man with slightly graying hair and kind eyes opened the door.

"Ms. Collins, I presume?" Sam gave the quiet young lady a gentle smile as she nodded. "Please come in."

Marilyn had grown up comfortably, but had never been in an estate quite like this, with a butler and very formal decor. "Thank you, Mr…" she trailed off, unsure how to continue.

Sam liked this girl immediately. "Please, call me Sam. Jack should be down- ah, now." He said as the boy appeared.

"Thanks, Sam! Hey Marilyn, I'm glad you're here. Can I get you anything to eat or drink?"

Sam was always impressed with Jack's manners. Though he would never admit it out loud, it was apparent this came from his mother's side of the family. Philip and Graem were polite to company, but Sam believed that how you treated your employees spoke more than how you treated guests. Sam enjoyed his job, and always felt respected, but Jack treated him as more of an equal than as the help. In truth, Sam thought of Jack more as family than as a ward; he got the impression that it was a mutual feeling whenever Jack came to him for advice or support.

Before Marilyn could respond, Sam interrupted. "Now that's all well and good, but I think you're trying to do my job for me."He gave the kids a wink to show he was kidding, and continued, "Ms. Collins, what can I get you? Anything's fair game- as long as you stay out of the liquor cabinet." The last bit was directed to Jack, with a mockingly stern look. Jack had the decency to look somewhat guilty as he chuckled, remembering the lecture he and his friends had gotten last summer.

After being corrected to call her Marilyn, not Ms. Collins, Sam left to get them some water and the pair made their way to the living room. Graem took that opportunity to come downstairs for a study break and a snack, as well as to find out who was at the door earlier. As he rounded the corner at the bottom of the stairs, he caught a glimpse of his brother putting his arm around the stunningly beautiful girl he'd seen around school. Being two years younger and not nearly as popular, Graem didn't hear all of the gossip that went around the school, but he had seen his brother constantly around the new girl. From the looks of things, she wasn't just some new friend.

Graem always felt slighted by his brother. Jack was smarter, and stronger, and didn't even have to try at it. He always got the impression that his father wanted him to be more like Jack, and that he wouldn't be good enough until he was just like Jack. He'd tried everything- started surfing, studying harder, even tried to get Jack to teach him how to fight (with disastrous results), but nothing was good enough. And now he had brought home a gorgeous girl who would undoubtedly make their father love Jack even more. At least Phil wouldn't meet her today- though the glowing report from Sam would be enough of a dent in his ego. When Graem returned to his room, waiting on Sam to bring him a snack, he quickly gave up on his homework and started thinking about what he needed to do to get his father's approval.

Graem officially met Marilyn about a week later when she stopped by before going out to dinner with Jack. He made sure he was by the door when Sam answered it, and tried to mimic Jack's air of confidence.

"Hi! I'm Jack's brother Graem. You must be his girlfriend. I just wish he'd said how pretty you are."

Marilyn chuckled a bit as Jack walked in. "It's nice to meet you, Graem. And that's very kind of you." It was hard to miss how much her eyes brightened when she caught Jack's eye- not, Graem noticed, at his compliments.

Jack gave Marilyn a kiss on the cheek and clapped Graem on the shoulder. "I'm glad you two got to meet- Graem, Marilyn and I are heading out for a bit. Want to finish up the stuff for dad later?"

Graem tried to keep the smile plastered on his face, though it seemed pointless with Marilyn's attention completely on Jack. He agreed, and watched jealously as the pair stepped out. Then again, this could be a great opportunity to show up his big brother. Their father was trying to shape them to take over his business, BXJ, and this weekend's "assignment" was to summarize reports from certain product development teams. Graem was determined to do it on his own and tell his dad that he did it without any help from Jack.

When Jack returned at midnight, he immediately went to Graem's room to apologize for being late, hoping his disheveled appearance didn't give away too much. As he was about to knock on the open door, he caught sight of his little brother asleep at his desk. Jack gently shook him slightly less than awake and walked him over to the bed. Curious, he stopped by the desk to see what Graem was working on so hard.

It was a disaster. Graem had left out crucial details about the timelines of the project, and put in filler information about the lead engineer's aesthetic preferences. It was disorganized and clearly the work of an inexperienced analyst, but Jack could see that Graem had put in a lot of effort. Quietly, he picked up the papers and took them to his room. He stayed up the next 2 hours putting everything together, then snuck the work back into Graem's room. He knew that Graem would never learn unless he did it himself, but Jack was hoping that he would have the opportunity to coach his brother more before leaving him on his own.

The next evening, Philip asked to see the boys work. Graem proudly, and a bit snidely, exclaimed, "I've got it, dad! I did it all by myself yesterday." Philip gave his youngest son a watery smile, as though anticipating disappointment, and reached for the papers. His eyebrow rose slightly, and he looked between his children. Jack was smiling lightly at Graem, who didn't seem to return his brother's goodwill. Graem's smirk turned into a hopeful look as he gazed back at his father.

"This is very good. Jack, I'd like to see you in my office now." Both boys looked downtrodden at this turn of events, their shoulders sagging in unison.

As Graem watched his father walk away with his favorite son, he wondered if he could do anything well enough to be a part of the family.

Jack followed his father into the study, knowing what was coming next. Graem always assumed that these father-son chats were full of encouragement and assurances that that Jack was the most loved of the family. The reality wasn't nearly as cheery. Any trace of kindness left Philip's face the second the door closed.

"What were you thinking, Jack? Letting Graem do this on his own?"

Jack was never close with his brother, but always felt obligated to stick up for him. "I'm sorry dad, I wasn't here. But you said he did a good job on them, right?"

"Jack, you and I know better. This isn't Graem's work, this is yours. And it's exceptional. But you're not doing any favors for your brother. Jack, you can't let your feelings get in the way of your duty. You need to control your emotions, do not let them control you." Jack had heard this speech thousands of times before. It helped as a child, when he was trying to work through his anger while giving up his schoolyard violence. Now, as a fairly mature teenager, it had gotten quite old. Jack knew better than to disagree with his father- especially now, when he knew he had made a mistake in doing Graem's work for him. Instead, he closed himself off and said, "Yes, sir. I'm sorry."

"Jack, you're going to take over this company some day, but Graem will be working there too- he needs to know how to do these things on his own. You need to be stronger; you need to push him harder. Don't disappoint me again, Jack."

Whenever Philip talked about Jack's future with the company (his legacy, he liked to call it), Jack felt more and more uncomfortable. His life had been planned out before he got a chance to figure out what he wanted. He was 17 years old, and not ready to commit himself to being a glad-handing chit-chatting corporate honcho. Jack found passion in some of the books he read- he was enamored with the places he read about, the experiences and people who came to life in literature. Jack wanted to travel, see the world, live his life before he committed himself to the company. This was a frequent cause of arguments in the Bauer household, until Jack learned to keep his thoughts and hopes to himself and sometimes Sam.

Jack wondered if he'd ever get away from the destiny his father had written for him.


	2. Chapter 2

Two years later, the young couple had graduated and were off to UCLA- Jack for English Literature (against his father's objections), and Marilyn to study art history. The two were as lively and inseparable as ever, frequently going on weekend trips to the beach, concerts, and anything else they could do.

One weekend, Philip asked Jack to come back home for some time with the family. Marilyn agreed to do the same, and he dropped her off at her house before returning home. When he got back, he was immediately greeted by both Philip and Graem. Jack was excited to see them there- it'd been a few months since he was home, and he was never really close with either of them, so to have a welcoming committee was a rare occurrence. Halfway through their greetings, Jack could tell that this wasn't going to be a friendly family conversation. They promptly went into the dining room for dinner, with Philip calling for Sam to put Jack's things upstairs. They ate in silence until Graem started rambling about a project for his biology class. After a brief conversation about mitochondria and Graem dismissing any attempts Jack made to help, Philip finally spoke up.

"So Jack, when are you going to start looking at schools to get your MBA? UCLA's program is nowhere near as respected as Stanford's, and if you change your major now you can still get a worthwhile degree and graduate on time."

Control your emotions, don't let them control you. For Jack, this was harder than it sounded once again. He was being shoved down his father's path, without a single regard to what he wanted. Fortunately, Sam chose this moment to get rid of their empty plates and give Jack an encouraging look.

Jack decided it would probably be best to sidestep the issue altogether, rather than get in another pointless debate with his father. "Dad, I'm still a freshman. I don't even officially declare a major for another semester." Philip frowned, but let the topic drop for the time being.

As soon as Philip and Graem started to get up from the table, Jack made a beeline for the door, explaining that he promised to stop by and see Marilyn's family. It was a blatant lie, but the more he thought about it, the more eager he became to visit the Collins household.

Jack arrived at the door after they'd finished up dinner. His smile brightened as the door opened.

"Jack! It's great to see you here. How have you been?"

"Thank you, Mr. Reese- I've been well, how are you?" Jack had liked Marilyn's uncle from the moment they met, when Marilyn had finally given into Jack's insistence that he introduce himself to her family. He wasn't trying to push them forward too fast, he simply wanted to assure Marilyn's family that she was in good hands. He'd never dated anyone before, and didn't want to ruin it because her relatives thought him too rude.

"Jack, you know the rules- it's Josh, none of this Mr. Reese business. Come on in, we were just about to discuss going out for ice cream."

Josh Reese was Marilyn's uncle. After serving two tours in the army, he was diagnosed with severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and had difficulty living on his own. His sister Maggie offered to take him in while her husband, a neurosurgeon, introduced Josh to several of his friends in psychiatry, and together they got him the help he needed. It was now fifteen years later, and Josh was back to living his life. He offered to move out of the house a few years ago, but they had gotten comfortable enough together that they invited him to stay indefinitely. This turned out to be useful when his brother-in-law died and Maggie needed more help at home.

"Is that Jack I hear? Where's our boy?" Mrs. Collins, who insisted he call her Maggie, took a liking to Jack the moment she met him- maybe even before. When her husband died, they transferred Marilyn to a public school so they could keep the house, knowing that the local public schools were some of the highest-rated in the state- Maggie was unwilling to sacrifice a good education for her daughter. After she got involved in the PTA, she promptly discovered that her daughter was seeing one of the most popular boys in school. This information worried her at first (where she was from, popular meant nothing but sex and drugs), but was fast assured that Jack was a good kid- one of the best, according to the AP History teacher.

"_Jack took a liking to Marilyn right away- I saw him escort her to class on that first day after they left my classroom."_ Mr. Porter assured Maggie that Jack wasn't just well-liked by his peers, he often assisted teachers and other students over the last few years. No one cared about his troubles as a youth anymore, knowing the circumstances behind his grief at the time. Maggie was concerned her daughter hadn't mentioned the boy, but was put at ease by the accounts she heard from other PTA members. She finally met Jack about a month after that, and right away saw why everyone was so impressed with him.

Jack smiled as Maggie rounded the corner and greeted her with a hug. "Hello, Maggie. It's good to see you. I'm sorry for stopping by uninvited-" He didn't get much further as Maggie pulled away and smiled, lightly clucking her tongue at him.

"You know better than that, Jack- you're always welcome here. I'm just sorry Josh got your hopes up about ice cream, some of us are trying to stick to our diets." Jack felt at ease the second he walked into the Collins household. "So what brings you to our doorstep today?" She asked as she escorted him to the kitchen, where Marilyn was cleaning off the table.

"I wanted to see you guys- and I was sort of eager to get out of the house." Jack's shoulders sagged a bit as he finished his explanation, but the uplifting atmosphere here made it difficult to really get upset.

"Less than three hours and you're ready to go? Yeah, I know how that is." Josh said, giving Maggie a knowing look while clapping his hand on the young man's shoulder. Josh and Maggie's father had been a drunk when they were growing up, and it was only by sticking together and supporting each other that they got by. Maggie often said she found it difficult to regret her uneasy childhood, because it gave her such a great relationship with her brother.

Marilyn finished clearing the table then, and came over to give Jack a kiss on the cheek. His attention was momentarily diverted from conversation as he smiled back at her.

"Well Jack, now that you know I was lying about the ice cream, I hope you won't hold it against me. Marilyn and Maggie were getting ready to watch a movie if you want to join them," the look on Josh's face told Jack that he probably wouldn't enjoy whatever chick-flick they'd chosen, "but I was just thinking about heading down to the range for a few hours. You care to join me?"

Jack's smile grew at the invitation. In his excitement, he almost forgot his manners. "Yeah! I mean- as long as I'm not intruding. I don't want to get in the way of your movie night." The second statement was directed at the women, but Jack tossed a slight smirk in Josh's direction at the thought of staying in for a sappy romance movie.

With the evening's events having been decided, the ladies retired to the living room while Josh put on his jacket and headed out the door with Jack.

This wasn't the first time Josh had brought Jack to the shooting range. After hearing about some of the boy's frustrations, Josh could really sympathize. He used to spend time at the range when he was in the army, both for practice and to unwind after a stressful or chaotic day. He was happy to find that Jack was a natural at shooting- he adapted quickly and eagerly to the new challenge. After the first few visits, Jack admitted that going to the range helped when he got upset because of the concentration it took. "_I feel like I'm leaving everything else behind when I step into that booth and just trying to focus on this one shot."_

Josh could see that Jack had a lot of potential in him- not just with a gun, this young man could probably be president if he wanted. Jack was like the son Josh never got to have, and Jack truly admired his girlfriend's uncle. After a few hours at the range, they stopped at the bar so Josh could buy Jack a beer.

"Have you been practicing at school? I think you're better than me by this point."

Jack chuckled mostly untrue compliment- Josh's time and training couldn't be paralleled by Jack's year of experience with a gun.

"I haven't looked for anywhere to shoot at school- I've been so busy. I have to say, I miss it sometimes." Josh was pleased to find a kindred spirit in the young man he sincerely hoped would become family one day.

After spending some time on small talk and catching up on recent events, Josh decided to tackle the root of Jack's worries today.

"So what happened at home?"

The alcohol slightly loosened Jack's tongue, but mostly he answered Josh's question because he felt comfortable around the man. He explained about his father's insistence that he get the 'right' degree and work for the company, his brother's resentment and disappointment in him for letting the family down, his confusion over figuring out what he wanted to do. Josh let Jack talk, commenting occasionally, but mostly just listening.

When Jack was done relieving his worries, Josh talked a bit about his time in the army, shared a story of his father from childhood, and assured Jack that he was going to be just fine. Jack was grateful for the older man's guidance and support- sometimes it felt like Josh was the only person who could understand what was going on in Jack's head, more so than even Sam or Marilyn. After finishing up their drinks, the men picked up a couple pints of ice cream and headed back to the Collins house.

Jack didn't come home much after that weekend- he offered to drive Marilyn whenever she wanted to return home, but he usually just drove back to school rather than go home. One night, traffic was bad enough that Maggie and Josh insisted he stay the night- which turned into the whole weekend. The four of them spent most of the time at home together, just watching TV or chatting. Jack got a huge kick out of their game night, something unheard of in the Bauer household.

When Jack and Marilyn were finishing up their sophomore years at UCLA, they got a frantic call from Maggie to return home. Josh had been hit by a drunk driver on his way home from work, and was in critical condition at the hospital. Jack and Marilyn raced back home, but were devastated to find out that Josh didn't make it. Jack took it upon himself to look after Maggie and Marilyn for the rest of the week, and assisted them with funeral arrangements. He tried desperately not to show how much Josh's death affected him. He was staying on the Collins' on the couch for the duration. They offered him Josh's room, but he couldn't bring himself to lay a claim on it. The second night there, he broke down. As he sobbed silently into the pillow, he felt someone on the couch next to him. He didn't need to look to know that Marilyn was there, needing his support, and needing to support him. They held each other, tears streaming, until they fell asleep.

That was how Maggie found them early the next morning as she went to make coffee- someone needed to now that Josh wasn't around, she thought morosely. She peeked in and saw Jack and Marilyn, arms entwined, and thought, "Maybe we'll be ok after all."

The funeral was a quiet, simple affair. Josh's friends and colleagues came by, several of them Jack recognized from the shooting range. Maggie and Marilyn graciously accepted their sympathies until everyone left. Jack drove them home, silent the whole way. That night, Jack tried to stay out of the way and let Maggie and Marilyn grieve together. He said he was stopping back home briefly, but instead went to the range. When he returned, he caught a sliver of Maggie and Marilyn's conversation.

"Just promise me that if you and Jack ever have a boy, you'll name him Josh." Jack froze at this comment- he and Marilyn hadn't yet talked about their future. Marilyn seemed to feel just as awkward as she replied,

"I- well- it… Yeah, mom, I promise." Her somewhat frightened tone told Jack that he shouldn't worry about baby fever from his girlfriend, and that this was less a discussion about their future and simply a monument to Josh. Jack pulled the door open slightly wider than usual at this, knowing it creaked at a certain point. He was usually known for being quiet- sneaky, Marilyn called it- but knew that right now it was probably better to be heard before continuing inside.

He heard the shuffle of a chair and a faint murmur, then saw Marilyn walking towards him. He put the overheard conversation out of his mind as he closed the door and enveloped her into a hug while placing a kiss on the side of her temple.

Maggie was still distraught, there was no question. They all were. But she had dealt with the loss of her husband with grace, and she could deal with the loss of her brother. By the end of the week, she felt bad for dragging Jack and Marilyn out of school, especially so close to finals. Though they protested, saying they could get exemptions or make up exams over the summer, Maggie kindly but firmly insisted they leave. Truthfully, the only way she could bear to let them go was the knowledge that they would be back in two quick weeks.

After dropping Marilyn off at her dorm, Jack headed straight for the closest shooting range. Josh had insisted that practice was necessary not just to get better, but to stay in form. As he thought about what he overheard Maggie say, he couldn't help but think that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have a kid named Josh someday. The thought of it being any time soon still scared him, but Jack wasn't about to run off because of the suggestion. His mind was on Josh the entire time he was at the range, and he was surprised to find a tear on the side of his face at the end of his session. He wiped it off, ashamed, and headed back to his dorm.

Maggie offered to let Jack stay with them for the summer, knowing his relationship with his own family was strained, but Jack insisted on going home. He was determined to make things right with his father and brother, and prove that he was still there for the family. Some of the determination came from his guilt over being there for the Collins women but never even stopping in to see his own family. When Phil got word that Jack had been in town for a week without seeing them, he called, furious. Jack tried explaining the situation, but it was to no avail- the fact remained that he was starting to desert his family, according to his father.

Jack spent the majority of the summer doing an intensive internship for BXJ, but escaped with Marilyn whenever he could. Knowing he wanted to make things right with his family, she insisted on spending time at the Bauer estate. Graem and Phil had long since approved of Marilyn, but Jack wasn't entirely comfortable with the situation. He did enjoy when she came for a family dinner and took all of the attention off of him. She'd captivated the Bauer men until dessert, when Phil tossed out a statement about her following a respectable career path. Jack tightened his jaw and kept silent. Marilyn subtly grabbed his hand and squeezed, knowing the conversation could easily take a turn for the worse. She took the opportunity to ask Graem about his senior year and got him talking about starting college next fall. Graem reveled in the attention, admitting how excited he was to be accepted to an ivy league school. When he pointedly mentioned that his degree would help advance his career, Jack decided to take Marilyn home. As he got her jacket, Phil and Graem stood up to give her a hug and wish her farewell.

After they left, Phil turned to Graem. "She's too good for Jack, Graem. You remember that." Phil was convinced that Marilyn was to be the Mrs. of the legacy he had built. He would prefer if the company was in Jack's more capable hands, but that was looking less and less likely each day. He wanted to find a way to keep Marilyn around, even if Jack did abandon the family. He was impressed with how she steered the conversation when it got tense, knowing that was a useful skill to have at the many business-related events corporate spouses attended. With her in the event room and Jack in the board room, BXJ would soar to the top. If only it were that simple.

By the end of the summer, tensions in the Bauer household had reached a peak. Jack had made it clear that he still didn't know what he wanted to do after college, specifically that he didn't think he wanted to run the company.

"Dad, you know that Graem is every bit as capable of running the company some day, and he actually wants to! You don't need me to do it." Jack was convinced that all Graem needed was time and education, and he would be in a great position to lead BXJ.

"Bullshit, Jack. Graem needs you to do this. I need you to do this. You're the leader. You're the one people will look up to. You're the one capable of doing what is necessary for the company. This is for the family, Jack! You can't turn your back on your family." Jack was just grateful that Graem wasn't around for this. While Jack knew that Graem had a more difficult time with school and his social life than Jack did, he didn't think it was fair of their father to always berate Graem. He'd always tried to look out for his little brother, though they'd never seen eye to eye.

"Dad, I'm sorry, but I need time." This was Jack's way of dropping the subject. It usually didn't work, so he ensured success by walking out of the room.

Throughout his junior year, his father called constantly with requests for him to come in to the company and help out, getting angry each time Jack politely declined. Jack and Marilyn were still together, and he had come to depend on her. Whenever he got overly frustrated with his father, she would reach out to squeeze his hand or his shoulder, and he would remember to take a minute to breathe. He still got lost when he looked in her eyes, and started to think about the future.


	3. Chapter 3

Jack didn't return home for his last summer before graduating. He and Marilyn spent some time traveling- he saved up enough to take her to Europe for a couple weeks, and he spent the rest of his summer working at the shooting range near school and taking some additional classes. When he first started working at the range, he met one of the regulars, Professor Hendricks. Hendricks taught a criminology course at UCLA, and after a few days of shop talk at the range, he invited Jack to sit in on his summer criminology class.

Jack felt somewhat uncomfortable during the first class because they had started 2 weeks ago when he was in Europe and he wasn't officially registered for the class; but as a no-credit class signups didn't really matter and he caught up to the rest of the class quickly. Shortly after catching up, Hendricks found Jack surpassing the majority of the class, and started paying more attention to the young man. Hendricks had invited Jack to the class when he discovered he was a UCLA student, partially to try to fill the class and partially because he was such a great shot- and in his experience, people with Jack's talent either turn into criminals or those who catch them. After the first week, it was apparent which direction Jack would go. He brought enthusiasm and out of the box thinking to the class, and was the center of many class debates. At the end of the summer, Hendricks pulled Jack aside and asked if he'd take some additional criminology classes in his senior year. Jack didn't even hesitate.

His senior year became hectic with the additional classes. He and Marilyn couldn't spend quite as much time together as they'd like, and their trips home had decreased to every few months. Though it was slightly strained, they were both still happy together, and enjoyed any minute they could find with each other.

Marilyn returned one day to the apartment she and Jack shared to find him on the phone. Though Jack had many friends, he didn't talk to many of them on the phone. She started to worry, because a phone call usually meant a fight with Philip. When he turned around, she could see a surprised smile on his face.

"Thank you, sir." He said when he hung up.

"Your father?" Marilyn's inquisitive glance drew Jack's gaze to her eyes. His heart beat slightly faster as he pulled her towards him and brushed a strand of hair from her face.

"No. Not my father." He guided her over to the couch and they sat down together.

"That was someone from the Army Officer's Candidate School. Apparently Professor Hendricks recommended me. And the head of admissions was a friend of Josh's. I guess he'd mentioned me." Jack's voice grew somber at the mention of his former mentor, but it still made him smile to know that Josh respected Jack and thought him worthy and capable of his own profession. Josh didn't talk about his troubles much, but he had mentioned some of his struggles to Jack, and admitted that he may not have been a prime candidate. He would tell Jack that it takes a man of extreme strength and conviction to go out there, do his duty, and be able to continue on. Jack had seen these talks as a bit of a warning, but now he realized what they really were- Josh truly believed in Jack, and thought he had that inner strength. "I'd never considered this before, but- I don't know. I think I could really enjoy this, and make a difference out there. I- wow, this is the last thing I thought would happen today."

Marilyn was floored. Obviously she knew how highly Josh thought of her boyfriend, but she had no idea he'd mentioned him to colleagues. And she also hadn't realized just how serious he was about criminology- she'd have to be blind to miss how excited he was about it, but now it was looking like less of a hobby and more of a career. Marilyn knew that Jack's family wanted him to work for the company. She knew that she'd have all of the comfort and security she could ever want if she were married to the head of BXJ. But she loved seeing Jack so happy.

"Today of all days.." he muttered, chuckling lightly.

"Jack, what's going on with today? This is the second time you've mentioned it- would it have made a difference if it were yesterday instead?"

"It wouldn't have made a difference- it's just odd that everything seems to be happening all in one day." He leaned back on the couch and pulled her close. "Do you remember what happened 5 years ago today?"

It didn't take long for Marilyn to realize that today was October 21- the night of the Fall Ball, their first official date. She smiled at him, replying, "Us." As Jack leaned in to kiss the woman he loved, he didn't think it could get any better. He pulled a small box out of his pocket. "I know it's not much- and that it's kind of cheesy- but I love you, Marilyn. And I want to really start thinking about a future together."

Marilyn opened the box and gasped lightly upon finding a silver and gold braided ring. A promise ring- cheesy, yes, but also perfect. She beamed up at him as he placed it on her right hand and kissed it. "Thank you, Jack. I love it. And I love you so much." She leaned in to kiss him, threading her newly decorated fingers through his blonde hair. "Let's think about our future together- later." With a coy smile, she grabbed his hand and led him into the bedroom.

The next day, they slept in until noon. As Marilyn was getting dressed for a study group, Jack grabbed her and spun her around.

"Hey, come here. I meant what I said last night, Marilyn. I want us to start planning a future together. With this Officer's School and everything- well, it looks like things may be changing for me. I just- I want you to be a part of all of it."

Marilyn looked uneasy at the mention of Jack's Army ambitions. She'd never thought of him being far away from her. Part of her had assumed he'd eventually give in to his family's demands and take over the company, though she knew he had more conviction than that. Whatever he did, she had just assumed they'd be staying in LA. It was a good thing Jack sprung the ring on her when he did, because Marilyn just realized she had no idea what was in store for the two of them. Jack's assurances that he wanted her in his life- all of it- helped Marilyn to be strong.

"Jack- I want to be a part of your life. I love you and I just-" she looked up at him sheepishly "I think I'm a bit overwhelmed."

At this, Jack chuckled. "And I haven't even proposed yet." He said with a wink as he walked into the kitchen to make lunch, smiling at the excited look that appeared on Marilyn's face. He shouted back towards the bedroom "We've got time, sweetheart. Go out, enjoy your day, and we'll have plenty of time to talk." As he turned away from the refrigerator, he was stopped by a pair of soft, delicate hands.

"We've got all the time we want." She reached up to give him a soft kiss, then grabbed her bag and headed out the door smiling.

It appeared that good news travels fast. Jack should have realized that, as a company with several major defense contracts, BXJ had allies throughout the military, ready to gossip like old housewives. It didn't take long for his father to find out that Jack had been offered a spot at the School. A Bauer would never give up the prestige of the family company to become some damn thug. But Jack was so determined to hurt the family- maybe he would end up doing this to spite them.

Phil insisted on Jack's return the very next weekend. He had Sam bring Jack directly into his office, where he and Graem were both waiting. Phil was sitting at his desk with his fingers entwined before him, looking down at the brochure in front of him. Graem was pacing furiously. He looked up when the door opened, but Phil didn't move a muscle. Jack glanced over at Graem and went to stand before Phil's desk. He stood stiffly, practically at attention, with his jaw held tightly. He knew what was coming- he'd been expecting it for 8 years now, since he first expressed a desire to do something besides the family business.

Philip stayed silent. An old interrogation technique, Jack knew. Assert your dominance over the subject, make them make the first move. Jack was too smart for that. Philip should know better than to underestimate him.

Graem spoke first, to no one's surprise.

"How could you do this to us, Jack? How the hell could you abandon your family like this?"

Jack remained silent. Philip noticed with a twinge of pride that Jack had showed no emotion since he walked through the door. He was controlling it, finally. But it still wasn't getting Phil what he needed. What he needed was for his eldest son to take the reins of BXJ with Marilyn by his side. Marilyn would be useful at making contacts for the company. Jack would be able to do what was necessary for his country, for the company. Graem would be there to support and learn from Jack.

Graem was always softer, weaker than his brother. He may not be able to do what it took to protect his country. Jack was always three steps ahead of Graem- it stood out whenever they played chess. Jack was always stronger, protecting Graem and the other children when they were younger. Simply put, Graem did not have his father's confidence.

Graem had stopped pacing when he started his outburst, and was now looking furiously at Jack.

Conceding to Jack's silence, Philip picked up the brochure he had been looking at.

"What is this, Jack?"

Jack recognized the piece of paper instantly- he had received one in a package just yesterday.

"A brochure for the US Army's Officer Candidate School." Jack wasn't planning on making this any easier on his father by volunteering information.

"And why would they be sending us brochures and asking for interviews?"

Jack set his jaw and paused before answering. "Because I've been invited to apply for the school." He met his father's eyes for the first time, "And I'm going to do it. I'm applying, and if accepted I will enroll."

For all the Philip spoke of controlling emotions, he was doing a poor job of it right now. Pure fury shone in his eyes. "Ungrateful! I've spent practically thirty years on this company for you! All for you, my legacy! And this is how you repay your family? By abandoning us when we need you the most?"

Jack knew then that nothing he could say would make his father understand. He had to try anyways.

"I just need to go my own way."

His father fixed him with a stony glare. "Then go. I don't want to hear from you again until you're ready to accept your responsibility. Until then, you have no place in this family!" Philip sat back down and tossed the brochure into the trash bin. Jack knew that the conversation was over when Philip pulled out some files and started working. He glanced over at Graem. His brother was standing, arms crossed, looking at his brother with a mixture of anger and smugness. Finally, he was the favorite, the better son.

Jack sighed and left without a word to even Sam.

He didn't tell Marilyn what happened that day, but she knew it was bad. Jack threw himself into preparing for the army. The more time he spent thinking about the path he was taking, the surer he was of his decision.

About a week after he returned from home, Marilyn sat him down to talk about his going to the School.

"Jack, I know you looked up to Josh as much as I did, but you weren't there when he first came back. He was pretty messed up, my parents wouldn't let him be alone for almost a year. He wouldn't want that for you. I don't think he'd want you to risk it."

"We talked a bit about what happened over there and how he reacted to it. He told me once that he didn't think he was the right person for the job, but he never said he regretted serving his country. I don't know, I just got the impression… Well, he spoke to the admissions officer about me, I think he knew I'd end up in this direction sooner or later."

"He- he talked to you about it?" Marilyn was floored to say the least. She'd always had somewhat of a curious disposition, which came with a tendency to pry. As a child and even in her young teens she'd asked countless questions of her uncle's time in the army, but he never spoke a word. Logically, she knew that she was young and he probably wanted to protect her, but a part of her couldn't help but feel left out that he had trusted Jack with his secrets.

"Not much. Some times after we'd go out shooting, he'd tell me a bit about it. I got the impression he didn't like talking about any of it."

Jack was being modest- Josh had once talked for forty-five minutes about a mission where he'd lost a couple good friends. But he could sense Marilyn feeling put out, an effect he had on people before. Jack was a natural leader, people tended to gravitate toward him. Despite that, he had very few close friends. It was hard to compete with Jack, as his brother was constantly reminded growing up. Jack was worried about Marilyn resenting him like Graem did, and tread over the subject carefully.

Marilyn accepted this explanation and moved on.

"If you go to the Officer's Candidate School… We'll be apart for years. God, Jack, we've barely spent a week apart since we met. How do you think we'll manage the months we don't even speak to each other?"

Jack hung his head. He'd thought about it, knew it would be difficult, but thought he could handle it. Whether or not Marilyn would be able to manage like this was another matter entirely. She was used to having his constant attention, to go from dinner every night to letters twice a month would be a huge shock.

They had some time before finding out if Jack got in, and 6 months before he'd leave. Both of them knew deep down that he was getting in- Jack was a stellar student, active on campus, with glowing recommendations. His interview had gone very well, the admissions officer told Jack he looked forward to seeing great things from him.

"I don't know. It's not going to be easy, I know that." He met Marilyn's eyes with an earnest, penetrating gaze, "But I think we can do it. I think it'll be worth it. I want to try, Marilyn."

Once again Marilyn felt herself powerless against Jack's stare. As she leaned in to kiss him, she let her worries slip away for a little bit longer. They dropped the conversation and headed to bed.


	4. Chapter 4

They never explicitly agreed to attempt a long distance relationship. Whenever the topic came up, Marilyn vaguely implied assent and changed the subject quickly. She tried not to think about it, but with graduation looming and Jack's departure following right after, there wasn't much else to fill her mind. Jack had an easier time with it. Between the extra classes he was taking and preparing for the army (of course he was accepted), his mind didn't get much time to wander. When there was a month before he was to leave, Marilyn invited her mother and the Bauers out for a celebratory graduation dinner.

The evening could be classified as something between a nonissue and a disaster. Though they managed to get through dinner without any heated arguments, the frigid atmosphere between Philip and Jack affected everyone. Maggie, who hadn't met Philip or Graem before, and Marilyn tried their best to smooth things over and generally keep the company entertained, but they had little success. Graem was less hostile towards his brother, but only because he pretended he wasn't there. Instead he kept his attention on the Collins women and Philip. He showered Marilyn with compliments and was welcoming to Maggie, which was the best Jack could ask for. Maggie and Philip were civil, but by the time their entrees had arrived it was clear that they did not think particularly highly of the other. Despite the lack of enthusiasm or warmth, they all managed to survive the evening, probably because the Officer's Candidate School didn't get mentioned.

After Philip and Graem had left, Jack drove Maggie and Marilyn back to their house. Maggie knew of Jack's plans for the future, and encouraged him to do what felt right. Despite her support, she was concerned about the affect this move would have on the children's relationship and her daughter's happiness. When Marilyn went upstairs to shower, Maggie sat Jack down in the kitchen for a beer and a chat.

"Nice to meet your family after all this time." Maggie kept her tone light, but the way she was looking at Jack out of the corner of her eye gave her away. Jack chuckled.

"You don't have to lie for my benefit. I'm just glad they kept civil, I thought for sure dad would bring up the company."

"He's making an effort. That's good, maybe you'll get a chance to patch things up before you ship off far far away for a very long time."

A wry smile graced Jack's lips. "I wondered when we'd get to that." Jack could hear the shower still going upstairs. "I know Marilyn's not thrilled."

Maggie patted the young man's hand and looked on sympathetically. She knew that this was something Jack thought he had to do, but she hated to see her daughter distraught. A large part of Marilyn's discontent lay not with the fact that Jack would be so far away, but that Josh had prompted this move.

"I remember when Josh talked to Chris about you." Chris Bronsen was the head of admissions at the Officer's Candidate School, and an old friend of Josh Reese. "They were here, when you and Mar were off for your freshman year. Chris was asking about Marilyn and Josh told him that she was seeing a fine young man, someone he would have been proud to serve with. He said that you were a born leader."

That wasn't all Josh had said on the matter. He spent 45 minutes monopolizing the conversation, talking about Jack. _"Give him a few years, and he'll be the youngest Joint Chief the White House has ever seen. One of the brightest kids I've ever talked to, and damn good with a gun. He needs a purpose right now. The old man is trying to get him into the family business, but I think he'd be happier serving his country. He very well could be the best thing that happens to the US Army, if he goes in that direction."_

Maggie knew Jack would be uncomfortable with Josh's compliments- he was already shutting down like he always did when inundated with praise. He was too modest to be able to hear all the admiring things her brother had said about him.

"I know that he wasn't around to talk to you about it, but I think he did want you to consider this direction. I hate seeing Mar upset about this, but I just wanted you to know that Josh would be honored by this."

Jack didn't know what to say to that, but Maggie was content to leave the conversation at that. She poured herself a glass of red wine and scooped out some chocolate ice cream. By the time she and Jack had started chatting again, Marilyn was in sweatpants and a t-shirt and back downstairs. She poured herself a glass of white wine and scooped out some vanilla ice cream. Jack would always be amused with how the Collins women needed their wine to match their ice cream. The three of them agreed to a movie before bed, and finished the night on a more pleasant note, not mentioning the dinner once.

Things with Marilyn were strained after that. He was torn between wanting to spend as much time as possible with her and getting used to the idea of being without her. Some of his hesitancy came from the knowledge that he was most likely dooming their relationship by joining the Army. He cared about Marilyn deeply, but for some reason he couldn't fully explain, he had to do this. It already felt like his duty, his responsibility to himself and his country.

Marilyn was trying to give an outward appearance of normalcy, but it was taking its toll. Her friends- even the ones who were half in love with Jack themselves- urged her to end the relationship before it got too difficult, but it would kill her to know she wouldn't even try to make it work.

His last weekend in LA, Jack made a pit-stop at his house to pick up the last of his things. Though they were trying to spend time together, he asked Marilyn not to come along. Normally she could keep his family a bit more under control, but today would be more than even she could handle. Jack arrived at the estate at 11:15 Saturday morning. By 11:20 he was just about ready to strangle his father, his brother, and even himself. The jabs and snide comments had started the second he walked through the door. To his benefit, Jack mostly ignored them while he gathered the last of the things he wanted from his room- truth was, there wasn't much. Almost everything he cared about he had taken with him to his apartment, but there was one picture of his mother in his room that he didn't want to part with. He had left it in case Graem wanted to look at it- the younger boy didn't have as many memories or photos of their mother.

The shouting started when Jack exited his room. His father once again accused him of abandoning them when they needed him so much. Graem screamed at him for being a failure and a disappointment. Jack focused on everything else, trying not to snap. His father made a comment about him never being there for his brother. Jack sent a deathly glare at his father, and walked out before he couldn't hold his tongue any more. Sam ran to catch up to Jack as he was getting in his car- he hadn't realized the speed with which he stormed out of the house.

"Jack! Jack, wait!"

Jack stopped and looked at Sam apologetically.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye, but… Guess I just lost it for a bit."

Sam smiled down at the young man in his car, "I'd say you did pretty damn well, considering. Jack, I just want to give you this before you leave. Now you go and make a name for yourself. You're going to do great things, Jack. Take care of yourself."

Jack took the book from Sam and for the first time since he arrived at the estate, realized that there was something to be missed here. Before looking at the title, Jack gripped Sam's hand in his own and thanked him with all the sincerity he could muster.

"Sam, for the last twenty-two years… Thank you for keeping me sane, Sam. Be safe."

After he had pulled away from the estate, Jack pulled the book up to eye level so he could read it while keeping an eye on the road. It was a collection of Yeats poems, well-worn. He flipped it open to see an inscription on the front cover.

'Jack- this belonged to your mother. You may remember her reading from it every night when you were young. I hope it brings you the same peace it did then, and that you remember the good in where you came from. Most of all, I hope that this keeps you safe. –Sam'


	5. Chapter 5

For nearly six months, they called and wrote as often as they could. He paid for her and Maggie to fly out for his graduation. He had a week before he shipped out, and he spent nearly every minute with Marilyn. Maggie loved the tour of the base- she and Marilyn giggled about being surrounded by handsome men in uniform. Marilyn and Jack seemed to pick up right where they left off, though he was more rigid and tough than before. He softened the more he was around Marilyn, but there was a hard professional edge to him in public that was fiercer than before. At the end of the week, Marilyn saw Jack off to the airport. After they said their last goodbyes, she took a taxi back and managed to get all the way to her hotel room before completely breaking down. Her mother came by half an hour later and ordered them room service. They had been planning on going out to eat to take Marilyn's mind off of everything, but Maggie saw that she was in no state to try and cope yet. They ate macaroni and cheese, brownies, and drank lots of red wine while watching a mindless variety show on TV. Marilyn's sobs had turned to the occasional sniffle, then stopped altogether around midnight as she fell asleep. Her mother tucked her in, put the food tray outside, and started packing Marilyn's things for their early morning flight before slipping back to her own room to sleep.

Jack went a month without seeing any action. When he finally did, it seemed like a bloodbath. 6 insurgents down, and one of his teammates had died, two more wounded. It was the first time Jack had killed another human being- 3 other human beings, actually. He got the bastard that shot his friend and the two closest hostiles. He received accolades from his Captain and peers. He took it in stride, politely nodding or saluting where appropriate. But when he got back to his bunk, he saw the men he shot blown backwards by the force of the bullets. He heard his friend's quick yelp as a bullet hit his neck.

People didn't see any difference in him. He went on to do more missions, took out more enemies, lost more friends. He'd always had a crystal-clear memory. It came in useful at school, in work, in military training. Now it was a burden, as he recalled the faces of the deceased. After a month of this, Marilyn sent him a letter- the third since his first strike happened. He hadn't responded to any of them. He pulled the first two out and re-read them, actually taking them in for the first time. The third was filled with concern over his lack of response, and pleas for him to be safe and well.

It finally hit him that this was how his life was going to be from now on. Josh had warned him, but already the reality was harsher than he'd prepared for. Marilyn deserved someone's full attention; in fact she often demanded it. More and more of his concentration when he was in training was put on tactical analysis and scoping out a situation, but then he could shove it aside long enough to focus on Marilyn. Now he recognized that a part of his mind would always be either on work or in the dark place that was starting to form in his memory. She deserved better than he could give her anymore.

Knowing it was coming didn't make it hurt any less. Marilyn had been with Jack for the better part of a decade; she didn't know how to be on her own. The only thing that helped was the time he had already been away. She finally got used to having just limited contact with him, but now there would be none. He wanted to try to keep in touch, if not now than someday. She hoped they'd be able to, but she couldn't handle it yet. Jack had paid off the rent on their apartment for the next 6 months. After running home so she could stay in bed and have her mother bring her ice cream for a week straight, she could face the apartment again. Somehow she expected it to look different, but Jack hadn't been there in over half a year. Having it look the same was almost harder than it would have been to walk in and see it suddenly empty.

She continued on with her life same as always, but for a few months was slow to smile and quick to shed a tear. Somehow news of the break-up spread to the Bauer family after a few weeks, and she was barraged with constant reminders of Jack as his father and brother called to check in on her. She would have appreciated it more if the wound weren't so raw. She answered whenever they called, but rejected any invitations to family dinners or nights out from the Bauer family, citing her busy schedule as an excuse.

Meanwhile, Jack was kept busy with missions and operations. If he had the time to think about Marilyn, he probably would have felt horrible about breaking it off after so many years of happiness, but he felt he wasn't the same person she fell in love with- he wasn't the same person who fell in love with her. He cared for her deeply, but he believed that he honestly wasn't capable of loving her like he had before. She deserved more than he could give anymore. She may have had his heart, but his duty and loyalty was to his country. His ghosts would be with him all the time; he just couldn't let Marilyn get pulled down in it too.

Josh told him once that there were two types of people in the service: those who could cut it, and those who couldn't. Josh wasn't sure which group he himself belonged to after his breakdown, but he always knew that Jack could make it. He warned him, "It comes at a cost." At the time, Jack had dismissed that statement, thinking he could crack it, but now he realized what it meant- others would be safe, but at the cost of his life. Now he really knew what that entailed. It had nothing to do with his death, as he originally thought. He would continue on living, yet still he had given up his life for his duty.

Over the next year, Jack and Marilyn didn't try to contact each other. Marilyn gradually accepted the Bauer family back in her life, though they had no more contact with Jack than she did. She suspected that Sam was the only one still writing to Jack. She didn't bear him any ill will, but couldn't bring herself to invite him back into her life yet. Throughout the year, as she grew closer to Graem and Phillip Bauer, her mother grew sicker. Marilyn was concerned despite her mother's pleas not to worry, and they both spent an increasing amount of time at the hospital. Though Maggie wasn't particularly fond of Graem and Phillip, she grew grateful to them for bringing Marilyn home from the hospital at night and bringing food and flowers to them.

Almost a year after the breakup, Maggie died. Jack knew that she had been sick for a while thanks to Sam and a few mutual friends, but he had no idea it was that bad. She was in surgery for a heart condition until the doctors couldn't stop her bleeding. After hours under the knife, she was declared dead.

Marilyn was in pieces. Maggie was always the most important person in her life- after her father died years ago, it was the two of them against the world until Josh came into the picture, and Jack after that- now they were all gone. Now she was all alone. She had friends and people who cared about her, but the people who had taken up so much space in her heart and her life had all disappeared.

Marilyn didn't know how she made her way through the funeral- she was barely aware of what was happening around her. Maggie must have sensed how bad things were when she first got sick, because she made burial arrangements months ago without saying a word. While it was a relief to know that everything was taken care of, Marilyn was left with a lot of empty time on her hands. Her life was a fog from the moment the Doctor said that he was sorry through the last condolences from friends and family at the wake. When she returned home from the funeral parlor that night and assured her friend that she would be fine alone for the night, it was waiting for her in the mailbox- the letter she had hoped for endlessly over the last year.

Jack wrote, apologizing for not being in touch before, offering his sincerest condolences for losing Maggie and not being there for her. He didn't mention how hard he tried- no matter how they looked at it, the Army doesn't give bereavement leave for the loss of an ex-girlfriend's mother. He instead offered remembrances of Maggie's kindness and goodness, with stories of good deeds and kind words. Jack also reminded Marilyn that Maggie would want her to live her life, remember her fondly, and eventually be happy again. Jack's perfect handwriting got messier where he wrote to contact him if she needed anything at all, that he would do anything in his power to make it easier for her. They both knew that there was nothing he could do at this point, but the words were appreciated nonetheless.

It wasn't much, but it was what she needed to get out of the post-mortem haze. She cried for hours that night. It may not have been pleasant, but it was necessary. For days she had been completely numb and empty. Now there was pain, but even that was better than the nothingness she had been lost in. She never replied to Jack's letter, but each morning she would glance at it and think about what he said about living her life. Each morning, it gave her the strength to get through the day.


	6. Chapter 6

After some time, Marilyn began to feel normal again- or maybe, she thought, almost normal would be a better description. She still couldn't help but long for one more perfect day- like one of the days that she and Jack spent at the beach. He tried to get her to surf with him while she struggled just to keep upright on the damn board, ending with them laughing together entangled in the water, all day long. Then they went home to Maggie who had lasagna and brownie sundaes waiting for them to enjoy while they rehashed the events of the day for her. But that day would never- _could_ never happen again, because Jack was far away and Maggie would never be back.

But still, she could go full weeks without crying, and interact with people without hating them for not being miserable. In fact, she was starting to grow closer to the two remaining Bauers as they tried to get her through the tragedy. Philip was constantly inviting her to the manor for dinner, and as of 4 months after her mother's death, she started to take him up on it. Graem, in addition to encouraging her attendance at dinner, offered to keep her occupied with trips out to eat, or see movies, or anything she felt like doing. It was almost like having a family again, but something still seemed off. Nothing felt quite as warm or comforting as before. Though she could bear it, Marilyn sometimes felt like she was just playing the role of herself rather than actually living it.

Word soon got back to Jack about Marilyn spending so much time at the Bauer manor. Sam made a passing reference to her in a letter, mentioning how much better she was coping. He didn't specifically say that she was spending time with Graem and Philip, but Jack knew how to read between the lines of Sam's communications. That type of astute observation was what put him towards the head of his class at the Academy, after all.

He tried to be happy that she was doing better. That part wasn't hard. He tried to be happy that she was connecting with people again- that was a bit more difficult. Back when they were dating, Jack didn't keep a secret of the fact that he didn't get along with his family. Even though his house was bigger and had more space and distractions to offer, they spent most of their time at Marilyn's so he could avoid his family, even at the cost of their privacy or entertainment. He managed to hide the worst of it from her- the constant arguments and screaming, the hurricane of destruction that swept through the house whenever Philip really got into it, the infrequent but haunting times when Philip completely let his temper get the better of him. Jack wanted to protect her from that side of his life, and now he was worried that she might get sucked into it.

He found himself wishing now more than ever that Maggie was still around. She had been uneasy about Jack's family since their first meeting, and surely wouldn't approve of Marilyn associating so closely with them. Of course, that was over a year ago. Maybe, like Marilyn, she also started to succumb to the Bauer charm. Philip could be strong headed and opinionated, but he usually did a good job of hiding that side from the public. He didn't get his company where it was by offending people; he could be quite suave and convincing when he was in his element, charming businessmen and their wives at his cocktail parties.

Now he and Graem seemed to have Marilyn under their spell, for the time being. Jack felt an urge to reach out, warn her that they weren't what they appeared, but he didn't have the right any more. She could do what she wanted with her life, associate with whomever she wanted, and he didn't have any right to judge or intrude. He knew that Sam had a protective streak in him, and would surely keep her out of trouble. With any luck, Philip and Graem would show their true colors soon, before Marilyn could be hurt by them.

Luck clearly wasn't on Jack's side. Several months later, Marilyn was still spending time with Graem. Philip was having trouble keeping the company afloat while dealing with new regulations and taxes, and decided that was the proper time to contact his eldest again.

Jack received the letter while he was in the middle of a 12 month posting abroad. In it, Philip pleaded with him to return home and pick up the pieces of the company. "It's time to stop playing around now, Jack. You need to come home and face your real life. You have a duty to your family." Jack skimmed the letter, ready to throw it into the trash without a second thought when a sentence in the middle caught his eye. "Marilyn is fit to take a role in maintaining this company, but it will be difficult without you there to support her. Graem simply isn't prepared to run this company. BXJ needs you, Jack. Your family needs you. When will you grow up and accept your responsibilities?"

Jack could easily see the role that he would slip into if he returned home. Marilyn would host functions for prospective clients and potential investors, together they would charm everyone into supporting BXJ. Jack would spend his days comfortably in the board room, wearing the most expensive clothes and buying a huge mansion. He and Marilyn would be content together in their routine. But being content wasn't enough for Jack any more.

The military gave him a purpose. His duty to his country was far greater than his commitment to his father's company. He would fit into the role of BXJ executive, eventually CEO, but it could never fulfill him. Especially not now that he had a taste of something greater. Just last week he stopped a man from detonating a bomb in a crowded market. A woman came up to thank him after the man had been taken away and people had been assured of their safety. She looked into his eyes, grabbed his hand with both of hers, and thanked him for saving her and her 3 year old son from being killed. If Jack hadn't been there, what would have happened? Maybe someone else would have stopped it. Maybe dozens of people would have died in a gruesome explosion. How could he risk that happening, just for a pension fund and a fancy car?

He could slip back into the life he was supposedly meant to have. He knew that it would all go easy as pie- it might take time for him and Marilyn to get things right, but chances are they'd soon be able to pick up where they left off. Philip would make sure that Jack was integrated into the business as soon as he returned. Graem would be annoyed at being looked over, but would support whatever his father wanted. It could be easy. But the right thing and the easy thing are very rarely the same.

Jack wanted what was right over what was easy. He wanted purpose. He needed to make a difference, to stop those who would harm innocent people. Anything less would leave him empty, wanting more. His family may not understand. Marilyn may not understand. But it was their safety that he'd been fighting for all this time. Their safety, and that of so many others who might be vulnerable if he left this path. Jack refused to give up his purpose so that his father would be content. Marilyn would be alright without him- she's lasted this long. She would find someone else, and live the life she was meant to. This was how it had to be. This was how it was going to be. Jack crumbled up the letter and tossed it in the trash with a refreshed sense of righteousness. He had always known his path- his father never agreed with it, but now more than ever he knew that he was doing what he had to, doing what he believed was right and honorable.


End file.
